The Intersection of Knowing and Not Knowing

So you know that feeling, when you pull up to a stop sign in a busy neighborhood (for me, it’s Capitol Hill in Denver – but choose your city) where the cross traffic doesn’t have a stop sign or a light, and you sort of creep out….looking, peering around the edges of the parked cars? Waiting to make your move. There’s always that moment where you really don’t know if there’s a biker coming, or a car without its lights on, something that you just can’t see. But you have to GO! So I – I gun it across that intersection, hoping for the best. I often wince and literally close my eyes for the half second between knowing and not knowing. And closing your eyes is probably not recommended when responsible for propelling a two-ton hunk of steel forward into space. But for that second, I’m literally bracing for impact.

So I’m imagining my Thailand experience will feel sort of like this:

And a little bit like this:

My crazy/wonderful friends Kristi, Emily and Cmac riding a bicycle built for two.

My crazy/wonderful friends Kristi, Emily and Cmac riding a bicycle built for two.

But right now, I’m between the knowing and the not knowing. Today, I gave my notice on my apartment. And I LOVE my apartment. It was bittersweet when I sold my condo last year, but this wonderful, charming, art deco, hugely-closeted space convinced me that there was life after home ownership (and granite countertops.) Can we talk about how seduced we are by granite countertops these days? Seriously. Turns out my Formica-ed kitchen with slightly yellowed cabinets still provides the tools for some pretty great chocolate chip cookies. It does have a gas stove, which is non-negotiable. But I digress.

Moving to Thailand is finally sinking in. I’m 98% sure I won’t hit a hipster biker with my car in the process, but the wondering is the same. I’m excited, of course, but I also know that none of it will seem real until I arrive in Suphan Buri, throw my bags down in my apartment, and step foot (without shoes – it’s the rule!) into my first classroom. It’s nearly impossible to imagine a situation where literally everything is new. How often do we have that experience? Not very often. So here I am. I’m creeping out into the intersection and I’m about to lay down on that gas pedal, close my eyes, and hurtle myself forward. Bring it.

3 thoughts on “The Intersection of Knowing and Not Knowing

  1. I am awe of how people today grasp experiences beyond their country. Life can be truly global. Enjoy this experience!

  2. I’m looking forward to traveling along with ya via your blog! Very exciting assignment! Wishing you an easy transition into this next chapter of your life. 😉

  3. Loving your posts!!! You’ll be a fantastic teacher and I’m so thrilled for you for this adventure. Love you!

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